My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
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