My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
