I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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