Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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