Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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