wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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