do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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