I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
