She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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