Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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