At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
