so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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