HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
