This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
