Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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