im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
porn star boner night. come get it.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
