bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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