omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
