smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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