Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
