I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you win again, gameday.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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