i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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