I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize