In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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