So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
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You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
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Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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