i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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