Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I supernannyed him into submission
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
