I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
