you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
