Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
