absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
