I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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