Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
