do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
