nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
