YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
