Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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