your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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