He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize