I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
