Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
