yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Let's get the cat blown out
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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