If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
