Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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