I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
