what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
