do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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