do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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