remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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