When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
