well you can't waste a boner
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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