it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
