Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
