He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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