and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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