They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Success! We fucked roommates!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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