no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
