I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
