i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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