when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
