I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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