Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
