My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
