I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
