who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
