Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
